"TERP(-sichorean) LINES" [inTERPreting sign and other languages]

Excerpts from THE AMERICANS ARE COMING! (1991), by Alex Beam:

Masha [a Russian, learning English, interpreting]: "We will be making perfume?"

T Makko Fixx [an obnoxious American businessman in Russia]: "Not just perfume, pretty baby. Cosmetics. Special cosmetics. A whole line.... You're all going to be famous. Your faces will be on television."

... Fixx's explanation, laboriously processed through Masha, confused [the workers] more than ever.... Then another Russian worker spoke up: "Ask him why he's wearing those ridiculous [blue wrap-around] sunglasses indoors."

"What does she want to know?" Fixx asked.

Masha paused for a moment. "On behalf of our whole [work force], she wanted to assure you of our heartfelt cooperation in your new venture."

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In THE DENVER POST Help Wanted section, 12 January 1997:

Interpreter/Tutor for hearing impaired [sic] program; 2 positions, full-time and part-time; $10.46/hr; 9 months. Credit may be given for previous exp. Requires associate degree (or working towards degree).... Knowledge of ASL, MCE, fingerspelling, silent mouthing. Extensive knowledge of grammar and spelling. Ability to work with high school students. Adams Twelve Five Star Schools, 303 451 1561, 11285 Highline Drive, Northglenn. Deadline for applications 16 January 1997.

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The Oakland, California, school district recently deemed "Ebonics" a language, as spoken by African-Americans. "In the making-its-way-around-the-Internet-category", say the editors of THE BOULDER WEEKLY, 16 January 1997, "we're proud to present [the] following new languages being taught in Oakland:

African-American Speak Ebonics ["Ebony" plus "phonics")
Chinese-American Speak Wongtonics
Eskimo-American Speak Harpoonics
French-American Speak Cornichonics, or Escargonics
German-American Speak Autobahnics, or Teutonics
Irish-American Speak Leprechaunics
Italian-American Speak Spumonics, or Rigatonics
Japanese-American Speak Mamasanics
Jewish-American Speak Zionics
Native American Speak Kemosabics
Polish-American Speak Kielbasanics
Russian-American Speak Rasputonics
Scottish-American Speak Rasputonics
Spanish-American Speak Flanics
Southern [US] American Speak Biscuits 'n' gravyonics

To which list we wonder if we dare add:

Deaf American Speak Deaphonics, or Deafonics.

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