"CAPTIONS CAPRICIOUS" [closed-captioning]


... do not normally speak (though it is clear they can understand) English, and that may explain why there's no closed-captioning on this commercial on Denver TV channels. But maybe some superior mutts can read English?

There's this large, cute, brown-black-haired pooch, sitting and minding its own business in the early morning, sunning itself on the front porch of a Denver home. A ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS is thrown onto the porch. The dog takes a disdainful, pained look at it, a careful look around his area to make sure no one is watching, then picks up the ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS and goes to paw it into hiding under some bushes.... Next, he trots down the street a few houses and picks up THE DENVER POST delivered at another door, and brings that paper back to his own porch. This canny canine is wearing an orange collar -- sign (Uh-oh!) of a trained hearing-ear dog!

I'm not concerned, writes David Anthony, that these dogs can do simple tricks like go-fetch. I'm not too concerned about the larceny -- not as long as larceny goes on by over-billing head-honchos in big businesses and pilfering of pencils and paper-clips are routine in small offices. I'm not even concerned, at this point, about the possible cahoots between hearing-ear dog trainers and THE DENVER POST. No; these concerns are mere bagatelle.

As a (would-be) teacher of English, I'm curious to know HOW the folks that train hearing-ear dogs succeed in teaching these supposedly "dumb animals" to read....

And how come THE DENVER POST folks do not closed-caption their TV commercials?

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Cute little Colorado Blue Cross / Blue shield commercial on TV these days: "What if you didn't have to worry about health insurance?" What if we didn't have to wonder about that the heck they're saying? It's not closed-captioned.

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